The Non-Negotiables

The non-negotiables...these are the items that we tend to avoid defining. Whether it be work, or personal, we tend to struggle in clearly defining these in our world because in order for us to do so we have to have a very clear understanding of who we are, what we believe, and how, and where, we see that fitting into the situation and/or circumstance.

However, defining the non-negotiables becomes highly critical in maintaining integrity in the process that we are in.  I have spent a better part of the past six years defining these for myself both professionally and personally, and am very comfortable clearly articulating my non-negotiables to the appropriate people in all aspects of my world if, or when, it's necessary.

For example, professionally I recently resigned from a position of rather high stature in the education field for one simple reason...I have a non-negotiable that I will not stay in a career position, or relationship, where I feel controlled, bullied, or manipulated...period. The second that happens in my life I'm out. It's a non-negotiable.

That's one example that crosses professionally and personally, however it is imperative that we articulate these for ourselves in both aspects of our world so as situations and circumstances come our way, and we have to take a stance, we are comfortable enough in our non-negotiables to be able to stand strong in our decision knowing it's greater impact in our lives, and in our world.

I recently sat in a meeting where I had a clearly defined non-negotiable on a certain issue. That non-negotiable was being challenged in an effort to have me change my mind so that the program and staff at the center of the discussion could maintain a fixed mindset, and not be challenged to consider an adaptive change that would systematically change how they had always done things.  So, what did I do? I stood my ground. I was the only one who felt strongly about this, but I passionately held my ground and I didn't back down. My belief around this issue was a professional non-negotiable. If they wanted to continue on the path that they were going, and continuing to see the same results, then they would have to continue without me. I would not be a part of a process that hasn't been working, won't just start to work, and doesn't have promise for working in the future if the current system and structures were maintained.

I held my ground..and a few meetings and conversations later, we are now moving towards systemic change within growth mindsets in that program.

Now, I want to be clear. This is not about throwing fits to get our way. No, no,no. This about determining a non-negotiable, and holding ground to it No MATTER WHAT. It's about knowing who you are, and what you are about in all aspects of your life, and then maintaining that with integrity so that no matter what comes at you, you can see who you are in it, and make a decision that falls in line with the beliefs that you have determined for yourself.

Colleagues....don't be so easily persuaded to do the "next best thing" or purchase "the next best thing". Do your research, know what works in highly successful schools, understand systems and processes that are credible and maintain high fidelity around school improvement efforts. Be well read, well versed, and well understood in your role, and more than anything be an advocate for non-negotiables for students, and for yourself.:)